i know today is one of those days that my mind and heart is going to go bonkers on me and it's nice to know i have this place to unleash all that 'so called creativity and ideas' i have cooped up inside. i shall start with myself, my past relationship is long gone and yes, although i have gone through pain that i don't even know how to begin to describe, what's important is i know i have moved on. be it for better or for worst, she doesn't control me anymore. there isn't anything else left to be said. chin up chest out, forward is all i can see, and happiness is at the end of this tunnel.

to my dear mr tan, bro, i know you have had it tough, maybe you have gone through life not having anyone truly understand you, i may not know the pain you have gone through but i sure as hell know it's been tough on you. you are an amazing person that has accomplished so many things others have not. yes, maybe in the 'traditional Singaporean style' you may be a failure, maybe you do not excel in your studies and what not. but bro, like the things i told you today, i hope you understand that no one has the right to tell you u can't make it. how many a times have you fallen and picked yourself up again? i don't even need to give examples because i believe you know it deep inside, maybe, it's just a matter of no one ever noticing it before. that's the thing about this country bro, we tend to put too much emphasis on our failures and not enough on our success. 

you stood up again and again by yourself with goals and dreams for the future countless of times, not letting anyone else tell you otherwise, this is something about you that i truly admire, but like i told you, your traits are unique to yourself, how you intend to use them is totally up to you. they can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you use them. you have the qualities to be successfully bro. refine yourself and remember what i told you about communications. i know you can do it(:

i remember the time when it seemed to me that you were at your lowest, and you came to me and said, 'actually i'm very lucky, i from normal tect can go up to accede, you said your mum and dad cares about you and you have bro's around you' honestly, at that time, to me you were in the deepest shit i could ever imagine, but you came to me with a smile and your plans for the future, i was truly amazed and happy for you because you posses something i have never seen in anyone before. like someone once told me, 'you are like a cockroach that doesn't give up.' because cockroaches even after being squashed, still get up and run around, irritating the hell out of everyone. haha! tell me that doesn't sound like you bro(:

you are now in something that i know is your forte, please work hard and make something out of yourself, be the best you can be and please, don't forget, communications is the 'KEY' to your success in everything you do bro(:

now onto you mr T, bro, nothing else matters anymore because i believe based on what you have heard, you are there. please don't do anything crazy. idk when it's coming but i believe it's either coming or there liaos. please from the bottom of my heart, think of everyone around you. all your loved ones, all the people who care, you probably never thought that words could kill you so much inside but please maintain, you are not the only one, you are not alone. like i said, you are not measured by the number of times you fall but by the number of times you pick yourself up. let this be one of those times you pick yourself up and stay strong when you most need it. bro, we are all here for you, even though we can't be there for you physically, emotionally, we are all with you. this is not weakness don't get me wrong. trust me when i say this is exactly what you need. when u created a group chat, that was a good move. you got everyone that cares for you involved with something that you are overwhelmed with and that took courage. 

bro, please from the bottom of my heart, keep your cool. guys- ai zai mai luan, you say do means you do. it's ok to cry, you stand up after the tears. you will get through this and you will be fine. think about what you have gone through, you told me even though this has happened, you are not going back to your old self. all i see is someone that has become a better person. please don't let the anger linger, do what you have to do to move on. but like i said, you may not have full control of your emotions now but you sure as hell have full control of your mind and soul. make smart decisions bro. we are always here for you. *gay heart*

it is nice to know u are there bro. nth can ever replace this feeling. thank you for understanding, always being there to listen whenever i need a listening ear. you don't know how much i depend on you...no matter how much i try to hide it. thank you<3

it's time i move on. like any significant event that has ever happened, it's time to leave the pain in the past and ink down the memories and lessons learn. goodbye.